![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
'Tis The Season
I love autumn. Really, I do. The turning of the leaves; the crispness in the air; sweater weather; my creative muse roars out of dormancy and urges me to make gifts for people. Stew returns to the menu. Mmm...stew...
Autumn also heralds the return of my worst migraine cycle of the year. The slightest twitch on the barometer and my head either feels like a pregnant elephant is roosting on the top of my cranium or like I am having some bizarre, archaic "wet-leather-strap-tied-around-the-head-t
And head colds. Blasted head colds. You know, you get one, ONE measly sinus infection and then every subsequent viral infection goes directly to the sinuses - does not pass go, does not collect $200. It was bad enough that every infection went to my throat, inflaming the paltry tag of tonsil my aging doctor missed during surgery when I was 15. But NO, that wasn't good enough. My sinuses wanted parity. So now, I get this "full head assault" on a semi-regular basis. Come on, I have young children...G is going to bring home whatever germ is floating around the school this week and I'M going to catch it. Serves me right for hugging and kissing them all the time. Alright, I hereby pronounce a moratorium on maternal affection from Oct 1 until April 1. THAT should keep me healthy, right?
My favourite time of year for singing (all those awesome Christmas carols, hymns and songs) and my stupid chronic sinus infections taunt me. I'll start to feel better, sing a test song in the car and ratch my voice for another week . Maybe now that I'm attending church regularly again and singing every week it won't happen this year? I had been cautiously optimistic these last few days, thinking that my voice was finally coming back after my last sinus/throat infection in freaking JUNE. I have been able to sing higher, hold a note longer and not have the raspy, gravelly quality to my singing that I feared was becoming my normal voice. And now this. Colour me NOT happy.
Of course, now that I have vented my spleen, it is important to note that I really AM happy. My life is more full and happy than it has ever been. I am in love with a man who is my best friend, someone I get to marry in less than 20 months. My kids are a constant source of wonder and delight and we have become a tight-knit little family.
So, to sum up: migraines and colds suck, but I love my life.
Autumn also heralds the return of my worst migraine cycle of the year. The slightest twitch on the barometer and my head either feels like a pregnant elephant is roosting on the top of my cranium or like I am having some bizarre, archaic "wet-leather-strap-tied-around-the-head-t
And head colds. Blasted head colds. You know, you get one, ONE measly sinus infection and then every subsequent viral infection goes directly to the sinuses - does not pass go, does not collect $200. It was bad enough that every infection went to my throat, inflaming the paltry tag of tonsil my aging doctor missed during surgery when I was 15. But NO, that wasn't good enough. My sinuses wanted parity. So now, I get this "full head assault" on a semi-regular basis. Come on, I have young children...G is going to bring home whatever germ is floating around the school this week and I'M going to catch it. Serves me right for hugging and kissing them all the time. Alright, I hereby pronounce a moratorium on maternal affection from Oct 1 until April 1. THAT should keep me healthy, right?
My favourite time of year for singing (all those awesome Christmas carols, hymns and songs) and my stupid chronic sinus infections taunt me. I'll start to feel better, sing a test song in the car and ratch my voice for another week . Maybe now that I'm attending church regularly again and singing every week it won't happen this year? I had been cautiously optimistic these last few days, thinking that my voice was finally coming back after my last sinus/throat infection in freaking JUNE. I have been able to sing higher, hold a note longer and not have the raspy, gravelly quality to my singing that I feared was becoming my normal voice. And now this. Colour me NOT happy.
Of course, now that I have vented my spleen, it is important to note that I really AM happy. My life is more full and happy than it has ever been. I am in love with a man who is my best friend, someone I get to marry in less than 20 months. My kids are a constant source of wonder and delight and we have become a tight-knit little family.
So, to sum up: migraines and colds suck, but I love my life.
But why are you remarrying so quickly? Or at all? Which I think really means, why are you having a wedding?
I got nothing against you or your guy, of course, but why not just live happily with each other. Why make it official?
Are you looking forward to the wedding, or the happily ever after part?
Not trying to cast a downer on anything, just curious. If you focus on getting married too fast in a relationship, you end up overlooking whatever potential small problems you're having today in favour of the whole bouncy-pre-wedding stuff.
I know you've had more experiance than I have, just hoping to protect you from any NRE or rebound let-downs.
But, like I've said, I don't know you're guy and I'm sure he's as wonderful as you say he is.
"But why are you remarrying so quickly? Or at all? Which I think really means, why are you having a wedding?"
- I am not remarrying quickly. Almost 2 years will have passed before we get married. My parents were engaged after the third date and married after 10 months, so I hardly feel that we are rushing into anything. I am remarrying because it is the right thing for us. We are having a wedding because it's what happens before the marriage part :) The fact that we knew really quickly that we were meant for each other is what you seem to be hung up on. Sometimes you just KNOW. I'm sorry that you don't seem to have had a similar epiphany. Until fairly recently, getting married was the accepted norm, not shacking up with your guy. Granted, it happened, but it was not as openly accepted as it is now. I don't believe in just living with someone. Rick and I have two kids already (well, mine, but we're a family now) and we plan to have more children and neither one of us will have children without benefit of marriage. It's just not the way we live.
"I got nothing against you or your guy, of course, but why not just live happily with each other. Why make it official?"
- We WILL live happily with each other...after we are married. We will make it official because it is what we want and it is in accordance with our faith. Logistically speaking, living in the same home would be much more convenient, it would cost less and we would probably become a more cohesive family unit that much faster. I think there is a generational difference in the way you and I look at relationships and marriage, perhaps brought about by our upbringing and life experiences (and the inherent differences in them). I grew up believing that you got married for life and I really struggled with ending my first marriage. In fact, it took me well over a year before I finally came to terms with my decision to do so. I lived with two men before I got married. I was engaged to both of them. I would not have considered living with either one of them if we had not. For various reasons, that is no longer something I would consider at all before marriage.
"Are you looking forward to the wedding, or the happily ever after part?"
- Yes. To clarify, I would go to the courthouse or chapel and marry Rick as soon as I am legally able to do so. I would eschew the trappings of a formal wedding just to be his wife NOW. To be quite honest, at this point, I am looking forward to being his fiancée. All things in due course.
"Not trying to cast a downer on anything, just curious. If you focus on getting married too fast in a relationship, you end up overlooking whatever potential small problems you're having today in favour of the whole bouncy-pre-wedding stuff."
- You haven't cast a downer on my relationship. Nobody can do that except us. We are focussed on spending the rest of our lives together, in the natural and proper progression for us. As someone who has several years' more experience than you, both in general and in marriage, I know that it is not all sunshine and kittens. There WILL be problems, issues and disagreements. That is human nature. It is how you deal with it that matters and on that, Rick and I are on the same page. We go through it all together.
I have planned three weddings and participated in the planning of at least 5 others. I am here to tell you that planning a wedding is most certainly NOT "bouncy". "Stressful": yes. "Wallet-draining": certainly. "Exciting": most assuredly. But I would not characterize ANY of my wedding planning experiences as bouncy. I was mostly relieved and exhausted afterwards.
As I said, I'm not trying to be argumentive, it just seems soon.
---> Our veiws on relationships aren't all that different. I believe in marriage being life-long as well, and in commitment. But there is such a thing as being too eger for permenance. By getting reengaged quickly, you might over look things you might not if you were "only dating." It is the permenance of marriage that is my issue. Considering how much you went through with Jim, it seems overall a fairly sudden turnaround.
I'm not saying it can't or won't work. On the contary I hope it is everything you imagine it will be. I've tried to support your path all the way through. As a friend, I'm naturally worried about and leery of exceptionally neat and tidy conclusions. I guess all you can do it prove me wrong.
Jake was my rebound. I came out of my marriage feeling dead inside and the "relationship" I entered immediately following brought me back to life. I am forever grateful to him for that. We were not right for each other in any kind of long-term sense and I hope that he has a happy life.
Rick had three rebounds after the end of his last major relationship. None of them really went anywhere, but they helped put distance between him and the end of that relationship. His best friends, both of whom are friends with his ex-girlfriend and thought they were good together, whole-heartedly approve and have said that we're perfect for each other.
Neither one of us requires approval from anyone to validate our feelings, but the prevailing sentiment of those who know and love us is that we couldn't be better matched. We agree :)
I understand that your comment comes from a position of caring and concern. I truly appreciate that. Don't give another moment's thought to worrying about me. I am moving forward with my life with care, consideration and joy. I wish for you that same degree of joy.
*shrugs*
anyway, mazeltov on you, yours and moving forward.
And thank you, I think I'm doing fairly well with mine (so far.)
As for sinuses. Make eucalyptus part of your life. You can get the essential oil at most pharmacy counters for around or under $5. When you have an actual cold or infection take a small washcloth or piece of cloth and put a bit of the oil in it. Slip in in your pillowcase. Also using the oil in a diffuser in the house is good for sinuses as well. I have very bad sinusitis and my body is very prone to infection after getting a sinus infection that went undetected for 6 months causing the infection to move into the cheek bone of my face. 8 months straight of antibiotics and the infection spread to my entire body. I was even in the hospital with what they thouight was an infection of the spine and was on IV antibiotics. The other thing, although I imagine you already know this, stay away from all and any kind of smoke while you have any type of cold. A doctor who had sinusitus explained to me that while you have the cold smoke molecules are large enough (especially cigarette) that they will stick and remain within the sinus cavity. They are toxic to the body and will form infection almost immediately. Since that advice I stay rigth away from cigarette smoke with as my entirety as possible and when I am having any type of cold
all smoke entirely.
Lastly in my long droning of advice you may or may not already know lol..honey is the best friend of your throat. Not just in tea. When you are having a sore throat or a throat infection take a small amount of honey on a spoon, suck it slowly and let it slipd down your throat as slowly as you can handle it. You will be suprised how improved it makes you feel. Honey is special in all ways, full of cold fighting all natural components it is just wicked good for the throat. This advice is a non medical advice given to singers to protect their voice...apparently it works well with larangitis too although I have not tested that.
Anyways I am glad you and Rick are happy. Rick being such an amazing close and supportive friend for me for many years I am very glad to see him with someone he truly connects with brings him so much joy.
Have a wonderful day and give the two little ones a big hug from me.